In the Doghouse

This is a very funny video - you might want to
share this with you husband!

http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/video.aspx

PIE NIGHT 2008!

A smaller crowd than usual, but a great location and a fun group nontheless! We held Pie Night at Skyler and Chelsea's clubhouse, complete with pool and video room and indoor swimming pool and hot tub. Good eats, too!

Here's something I never thought I'd see in my life time!

And CHELSEA likes my music! She says it's perfectly ME! Yeah, Chelsea!

And Savannah says she LIKES my music - Hooray for Buzzy!!!

Wesley says the music on my blog is weird. I like it. It makes me happy. I still like Wesley - he's a TERRYffic KID!!! I think we'll keep him.

Synchronized Swimming

ɹoɹɹǝʇ ǝɔʎoɾ puɐ sıuuǝp ɯoɹɟ uǝǝʍoןןɐɥ ʎddɐɥ

As some of you know, as part of my calling, I make the programs for my ward sacrament meeting each week.

This week I made a colossal blunder. When I needed a filler image to take up space I quickly typed 'Jesus Picture' in Google and just grabbed the first one that looked good.

I printed them all out and handed them out at church today just like normal.

What I DID NOT NOTICE until halfway through church is that Jesus is holding a WINCHESTER RIFLE!!!!!!!

oops!
Aaron Case
Location: Leesburg, Virginia

Here is the program:

Looking forward to Halloween!

HE'S #1!!!

Dennis took FIRST PLACE in his age group at the "Splash-n-Dash" Triathlon in American Fork on Saturday, October 4, 2008. He was 22nd over all! He beat out a nephew HALF HIS AGE!! That's MY MAN!!!

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND

You cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district. Spellings have been left intact.



1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.


2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.


3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.


4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.


5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.


6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.


7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.


8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.


9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.


10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.


11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the sh*ts.


12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.


13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.


14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.


15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.


16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.


17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.


18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.


19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.


20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.


21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.


22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.


23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this:

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'."

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't g o through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back..."

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Please send this to five phenomenal people today.
If you do, something good will happen: You will boost another person’s self-esteem.
If you don't...the elastic will break and your underpants will fall down around your ankles!

Weightlifting

For those of you who don't want to spend the money for those fancy exercise machines, here is a little secret for building arm and shoulder muscles. Three days a week is best. Begin by standing with a five pound potato sack in each hand. Extend your arms straight out to your sides and hold them there as long as you can. After a few weeks, move up to ten pound potato sacks and then fifty pound potato sacks, and finally get to where you can lift a one hundred pound potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Next, start putting one potato in each sack.

EXERCISING WITH TANYA

For Christmas this year my wife purchased me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26 year_old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get started.

Day 1. They suggest I keep this "exercise diary" to chart my progress this week. Started the morning at 6:00AM. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about ten points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though my gut was already aching a little from holding it in the whole time I was talking to her. This is going to be GREAT.

Day 2. Took a whole pot of coffee to get me out the door, but I made it. Tanya had me lie on my back and push this heavy iron bar up into the air. Then she put weights on it, for heaven's sake! Legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made it the full mile. Her smile made it all worth it. Muscles feel GREAT.

Day3. The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I am certain that I have developed a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was okay as long as I didn't try to steer. I parked on top of a Volkswagen. Tanya was a little impatient with me and said my screaming was bothering the other club members. The treadmill hurt my chest so I did the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by the invention of elevators? Tanya told me regular exercise would make me live longer. I can't imagine anything worse.

Day 4. Tanya was waiting for me with her vampire teeth in full snarl. I can't help it if I was half an hour late; it took me that long just to tie my shoes. She wanted me to lift dumbbells. Not a chance, Tanya. The word "dumb" must be in there for a reason. I hid in the men's room until she sent "Lars" looking for me. As punishment she made me try the rowing machine. It sank.

Day 5. I hate Tanya more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. If there was any part of my body not in extreme pain I would hit her with it. She thought it would be a good idea to work on my triceps. Well I have news for you Tanya - I don't have triceps. And if you don't want dents in the floor don't hand me any bar bells. I refuse to accept responsibility for the damage; YOU went to sadist school, YOU are to blame. The tread mill flung me back into a science teacher, which hurt like crazy. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like a music teacher, or social studies?

Day 6. Got Tanya's message on my answering machine, wondering where I am. I lacked the strength to use the T.V. remote so I watched eleven straight hours of the weather channel.

Day 7. Well, that's the week. Thank heavens that's over. Maybe next time my wife will give me something a little more fun, like free teeth drilling at the dentist's.

Top Ten Ways General Authorities Eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

10. Paul H. Dunn: " I remember back in WWII that I ate a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Back then, they were big enough to live on for a week. Being the only soldier to have survived the battle in my brigade, I really didn't know if I could eat it or not, but I remember my fallen buddy's words as he died in my arms: "Paul, if you just take one bite at a time you can tackle anything." So I took that giant cup and, breaking it with the bat Babe Ruth gave me after I struck him out with two outs in the bottom of the ninth in the seventh game of the World Series, proceeded to wolf down the tiny morsels."

9. David B. Haight: "Imagine 70 years ago on a rough road between Idaho and Logan. There were on Circle K's, no 7-11's. You had to bring your Peanut Butter Cups with you. Ruby and I split one for the first time in 1937…"

8. Dallin H. Oaks: "The Reese's Peanut Butter Cup challenges us to consume. From the beginning there have been three steps in eating a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. First, remove the wrapper. This is best done quickly, by turning the cup over, grasping the outer fold and pulling away from the bottom, Second…"

7. Joseph B. Wirthlin: "When I was young I would sprint to the corner store, buy a Reese's and run my hand through my hair before taking it down in one bite. These days I don't sprint, and I have no hair, but the peanut butter cup remains."

6. Richard G. Scott: "If you have not eaten a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, I plead with you. Eat one now. Enjoy the chocolate, the peanut butter. Do not delay. If you have thought, "That's not for me", I plead with you to reconsider. Of all foods I treasure, this one was the first."

5. M. Russell Ballard: "The time has come when members of the church need to reach out to our friends and share a cup, a peanut butter cup. It is not enough to raise a chocolate bar, it must now have peanut butter."

4. Thomas S. Monson: "I remember I ate my first Reese's Peanut Butter Cup when I was a tender lad of eight. My mother came up to me, and with a loving twinkle in her eye, asked, 'Tommy, are you eating a Reese's?' And I would invariably smile up to her, 'Yes, Yes, I am.' 'But Tommy, did you know that Sister Jensen next door hasn't eaten a Reese's Cup in years?' My young mind thought upon the plight of my neighbor… Tears were shed. Hearts were gladdened. A cup was shared."

3. Boyd K. Packer: "In all my years, I have always eaten my Reese's Peanut Butter Cups the same way - the established way we have been instructed to eat them. There is a far greater evil in this world, though - those who believe they can eat their cups in a way unconventional to the time-honored manner. We must be true and faithful and eat our Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in the customary and recognized approach as it has been established."

2. Neal A. Maxwell: "I intentionally initiate the delicious design of deglutition of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup by nibbling a negligible nit of the culinary creamy cavalcade. It is exclusively through small entities that the great things are fabricated."

AND THE #1 WAY… J. Golden Kimball: "Hell, Heber, I'll eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup any damned way I want!"

How to determine your Star Wars name:

I'm Joyte Grsan Yrrpinto of Excedrin

For your new first name:
Take the first 3 letters of your 1st name and add the first 2 letters of your last name
================
For your new last name:
Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name and add the first 3 letters of the city where you were born
================
To determine your Star Wars honorific name and title:
Take the last three letters of your last name and reverse them, then add the name of the first car you drove/owned;
Next insert the word "of";
Now tack on the name of the last medication you took.

Damage to our yard from Hurricane Ike

Student Secretaries

***I've been reviewing applications from students applying for the student secretary position in my office at Brigham Young University. One girl wrote that her last job was a grocery bagger. Duties included bagging groceries, sweeping and mopping floors, stocking shelves, dealing with customers. In the comments section on the last page she wrote "this job sounds a lot like my last job - I know I'll just love it!"

***Our suite includes offices for 8 faculty/staff employees, so it's very small. One student, obviously Chinese, wrote that she would really like to work in CITES "because I have spent a LOT of time there."

***Hint for student secretary hopefuls: DON'T start your resume with "Hey, my name's ______ and I'm looking for a hot job on campus..."

***Once a student secretary left a message for me: "Jackie called from Resale & Entry." I couldn't figure out what she meant. I looked up Resale & Entry in the campus directory -no luck. I asked my boss. He didn't know of any such department. Then I happened to notice a list of names she had written on the note - they were teachers at Rees Elementary.

Out to Lunch with G&G

Too rainy and cold for a Labor Day picnic - so we all went to Jason's Deli in Orem for sandwiches and salads. Afterwards Chelsea, Jessie, Kadence and Grandma T. went to Lindon to take a lunch to Justin who was busy working, then off to Robert's Crafts - about the only fun place in town open on a holiday.

Girls' Night Out

One of the fun things we did this summer was our annual "Girls Night Out". We went to dinner at the Pizza Factory in Spanish Fork where they serve HUGE breadsticks. Then we went to the Primrose Retreat where all the little girls had pedicures and manicures and made their own sparkly lip gloss in the "Spoiled Rotten Spa". They were served pink hot chocolate, root beer, hot fudge sundaes and cupcakes while they relaxed. Then they all (big girls included) dressed up, tried out the karaoke machine and strolled down the catwalk, watching themselves on the big screen. Gotta do it again next year!!